seemingly important stickers

marian & i met two very sweet girls on our trip to europe,

alexa & maribel.  

{alexa, ally, marian, maribel}

our idaho group of 22 was combined with a few smaller groups, to fill a 50-seat tour bus.  alexa & maribel had just graduated, and were with a group from their southern california high school.  
a few times on our trip, i talked to them about missy, and they both asked to have why be normal? stickers.

yesterday, alexa sent me a message on instagram about

something amazing.

you can see her post here: 

http://instagram.com/alexaappleseed

since her instagram is private, i'll share what she wrote:
Something Amazing: In Europe I met this wonderful woman, Catie, & she told me about her best friend Missy who had recently passed away from cancer & in her honor we'd put "Why Be Normal?" bumper stickers on our cars. #WeHeartMissy well Catie I have something really amazing to tell you!

So I decided to turn the bumper sticker into a magnet and while I was cutting the magnet "somewhere over the rainbow" started playing on pandora@five_ten_fifteen
she recognized it from what happened on this special day.
the song is a combination of "somewhere over the rainbow"
and "what a wonderful world."

thank you, alexa, for sharing this with me!
i'm so glad i met you
♥

---------------------

that was yesterday.

then, today...

i woke early this morning from a very vivid dream about missy - my very first dream about her since she died.  i was in an unfamiliar town, driving around in my stylish maxi-van looking for the cheapest gas.  i pulled into one gas station, but realized that their prices were too high and started to drive away.  the exit was blocked with a gate arm, like a parking garage.  the attendant used the speaker to quiz me before i was allowed to exit.  she wanted me to identify my car, describe it {um... ultra fancy silver maxi-van?}.  she asked if i had any distinguishing bumper stickers.  {yes, a purple square one that says why be normal?, upside down}.  i passed her interrogation and was free to go, but decided to park my car and come inside before i left.  while i was standing in the mini-mart, missy walked up to me, and i was stunned - "OH MY GOD!" - just so surprised and happy.  she didn't say it exactly, but her message was, "holy shit! can you believe this?!"  she told me that she had recently seen our friend, laurie, who confirmed for her that she had, in fact, died.  she said that she had been in a liminal state, kind of like being under anesthesia, and had been hoping she would get better, like always, and return to her life, her family, her friends.  but that laurie convinced her, in the kindest way, that this thing had really, truly happened.

missy was holding a gold link chain.  she gave it to me.  it was very similar to this one,

with the same toggle clasp, but a single, very thick gold link chain.  the links were elongated ovals, just like the links in mine above, only bigger & thicker & gold.  i skipped all the questions i've been wanting to ask her.  we just hugged and hugged and then dropped down to the floor {of a gas station, mind you} so that i was sitting, hugging her and holding her in my lap.

the gas station lady came up, obviously noticing something curious.  she couldn't see missy, but she could see the gold chain.  i told her what was happening and she seemed to believe me, even though i knew it sounded azy-cray.  i explained that the bumper sticker on the back of my van was a tribute to missy.  that she had just given me the gold bracelet i was holding.

so, it would seem that missy knows about these bumper stickers.  they seem to be much more than a purple square celebrating nonconformity.  they are touchstones, maybe.  don't you want one on your car?  or anywhere, like your fridge or your 3-ring binder?  

i will send you one - just leave me a comment & let me know you want one {or two}.  if i don't have your address, you can email it to me at: fivetenfifteen {at} yahoo {dot} com
be sure to turn your sticker upside down.  and if you are on instagram, please upload a photo with the tag #weheartmissy.

my dream made me think of a line in this song: the other night, you came to me, like an angel you appeared, and we climbed the endless sky {or, you know, sat on the floor of a gas station mini-mart}, and held each other near.

and another song which i found here this morning

Watchin' a stretch of road, miles of light explode
Driftin' off a thing I'd never done before
Watchin' a crowd roll in, out go the lights it begins
A feelin' in my bones I never felt before
People always told me that bars are dark and lonely
And talk is often cheap and filled with air
Sure sometimes they thrill me but nothin' could ever chill me
Like the way they make the time just disappear
Feelin' you are here again, hot on my skin again
Feelin good, a thing I'd never known before
What does it mean to feel? Millions of dreams come real
A feelin' in my soul I'd never felt before
And you always told me no matter how long it holds me
If it falls apart or makes us millonaires
You'll be right here forever, we'll go through this thing together
And on Heaven's golden shore we'll lay our heads

and another song which i found here this morning

The voices in my head are shadows, shadows
She comes to me, to tell me what they're after
Says it ain't the end boy but you best be careful, careful
Might catch your tail end in a circle, circle
The ocean how she moves in ripples, ripples
In flashing lights I swear she wore old film then the color bleeds and she
Becomes an angel, angel, hmmm
Calls out to me like a siren to a scoundrel
And I say come on child, and I say come on child
The blanket where she hides my virgin lights
Look to the sea where the cotton hits the turnpike
Staring at your knees but I don't have the words right, words right now
If up to me my maker turned right, turned right
Lost another one but she still smiles, smiles
Black lava rocks and instead she sees for miles says she wants, oh wants to
Stay a child, child right now
And wonders why we ever ever have to die
And I say come on child and I say come on child
Just a touch I'm gonna carry, carry
Another time where I probably shared the same life
The accent of a kiss whispers we're married, married now
It's either love or just the sun in my eyes and I say come on child
And I say come on child
Love love love love love

♥

p.s.

want a sticker?

just let me know & i'll send you one